You People Are Awesome

So awesome in fact that I’ve got a goat post just for you all.  Your response to my Oulaw sweater was overwhelming and if you heard a high-pitched distant squeal that was coming from me running around my house and barn as you bumped me at one point to #2 on the “whats hot right now” list on Ravelry.   I did get reports that dogs from miles around lost their bananas for a few hours and I’m making restorations for that but guys, it felt so darn awesome.  The response was such a huge ego boost I can’t even describe it.  I’ve been turned down by Knitty.com twice, Interweave Knits twice, and Knit Scene once.  Then with a self published sweater I put a lot of thought and work into you all made me feel SO un-losery I can’t even begin to thank you.

Well, I can begin so I will…with goats.

Who on earth can resist a goat smile?  No one I say, NO ONE.  It’s kryptonite, you know it is.  You see a little goat smirk and your insides go all squishy then try as you might a force bubbles up inside you till you just can’t contain it and you explode with an ‘awwww’.  You know you do.  I KNOW you do which is really all that matters right?

Running Prancer runs.  He also prances quite a lot.  He also side kicks and wiggles happily.  I swear La Mancas are the happiest goats on the face of the earth.

Sometimes I see him running and he’s running right at me and I won’t lie, I pucker a little when he doesn’t turn directions until the LAST second.  You will read a report one day that I am completely bowled over by this goat.  It might even be the way I die.  If it is that would be the most ridiculous thing ever and if the Mr posts a damn obituary saying “at least she died doing what she loved” I would haunt his ass so hard because no one loves getting run over by a goat.  But I digress. Back to the cuteness.

There aren’t a whole lot of hat wearing holidays are there?  I think we’ll have to make some up to be quite frank.

We had snow and the goats didn’t really know what to think.  It wasn’t bad like rain but it wasn’t awesome like sun either.

And as a special little extra tree here is a little video of goaty goodness!

Outlaw Sweater – Pattern Release

I am happy to announce that with the amazing work of my tech editor I am ready to release Outlaw.

Outlaw is a pullover sweater knit in Cascade 220 with a slipped stitch yoke and a similar rib hem.  A cozy slipped stitch hood and a high cowl neck makes this sweater a very comfortable and stylish option for those cold months.  Queue it here.

The specs:

***Gauge 20 sts = 4.5” in stockinette***
***Gauge in Slipped St Pattern 20 sts = 4”***


Yarn:
Cascade 220 5(5, 6, 6, 6) {7, 7, 7, 8} (8, 8, 9, 9) {9, 10, 10, 10} skeins
Needles: US # 6 24” circular and DPNs, US # 8 24” circular and DPNs
Notions: stitch markers, tapestry needle, stitch holders or waste yarn

***Sizes available***
Finished Bust Size 28(30, 32, 34, 36) {38, 40, 42, 44} (46, 48, 50, 52) {54, 56, 58, 60}”

Working Away

I’ve been working quietly behind the scenes here lately but there’s not a lot of progress that I can show for it.  I’m waiting for my Outlaw Sweater to come back from the tech editor (which should happen this week), I’m waiting for my testers to find the next problem with my Coastal Waters Shawl, and I’m writing up the pattern for my Assassin’s Creed sweater.  In the midst of all this I’m still writing and getting some of my work together to send to agents (which is incredibly hard for me) and trying also to knit.  Throw in the farming and I’m busy even if I don’t think I am :)

This sweater is just waiting for me to start the button band/edging and block it.  I think once it’s blocked the yarn will relax and bloom beautifully.  I want to start knitting one for me but I’m really trying to be good and knit on projects I’ve promised other people.

I put a lot more details into this knit than I usually would but I also tried to keep them subtle.  I really like the effect and I won’t lie, I’m a little bit proud of this sweater.

I have testers currently going through my Coastal Waters Shawl and picking apart all my mistakes. As much as I hate that I make mistakes they are a really fantastic group of knitters who don’t hesitate to point out that something isn’t working.  In the end I know I’ll have a flawless pattern :)

Then of course there’s this. :) I was published in Knit Magazine issue 45.  I can’t even tell you how excited I was to see my work in print!

I’ve submitted patterns to Knitty, Interweave, and Knitscene but this is the first time I’ve been accepted and you know what?  It’s a huge ego boost for sure.

I’ve got some more design ideas clinking around.  One for sure is my circle sweater I knit 2 years ago.

I actually knit this sweater, then I copied it for my friend Carol and never wrote up a pattern though it was fairly well received on Ravelry.  Honestly I think my pattern writing skills have just improved enough to finally do it.  Plus this sweater is so delish I think lots of knitters will want it. :)

Coming Soon

Two years ago I knit myself a sweater.  It was exactly what I wanted out of a sweater.

I knew that I wanted to make a pattern from this sweater.  But then the Mr and I moved and I just never got around to it.

Till now…

Outlaw was born.

Right now it’s at my fabulous tech editor to make sure that my pattern is good to go.

I hope to be releasing the sweater by the end of the month.  Sizing will be from 28″-60″ because all women deserve to have nice sweaters.

A huge thank you to Shauna Moys for being beautiful and wonderful and modeling my sweater.

FO: Coastal Hoodie

AKA the most tedious sweater I’ve ever knit.   When I say that though it’s nothing to do with the pattern, it’s all me.  It’s the stripes, the all the starting and stopping to change colors, it’s the 3 million ends I wove in, it’s the hem and the hood and the pockets.  I hated everything about knitting this sweater.  I didn’t even know if I liked my color choice by the end…

When I was done though?  This is the most perfect sweater ever.  I love the weight, I love the ease, I love the hem and the snaps and the pockets.  This will no doubt be my go-to sweater for everything.  It will be easy to throw on and go.

I didn’t meet gauge (big surprise I know) because I subbed in a lighter weight yarn.  Mostly because I couldn’t justify mortgaging the house on the amount of Madeline Tosh Merino it would have taken me to knit this thing. If I was a skinny little thing it wouldn’t have been a big deal but I’m obviously not.  Also, I once again had to do math because the largest bust size the designer wrote was for a 50″, which is 2″ less than my bust and that’s with no positive ease.  I did my maths and at 6sts/inch and a raglan increase I kept increasing and knitting until  I had a bust size of about 56″ so that this would be perfectly slouchy.

I love that this is all done in reverse stockinette but I do think that this could have been knit in the round, steeked, and then the hem done.  If I would have been thinking ahead I would have done that, and knit it inside out so that it was all in knit not in purl.  I knit the sleeves inside out, why didn’t this occur to me?

The hood turned out super slouchy which I don’t know if is because of the pattern, my yarn choice, or my poor conversion math.  Still, it lays flat and looks pretty cute from behind thanks to that orange hem.

Will I ever wear the hood? Maybe, but I doubt it.  The only hoods I do wear are for my rain coat or hoody when I’m in the barn.  This is definitely not a barn sweater because I really do love it so much.  I just can’t tell you how relieved I am too because this was a beast to knit for me and if I didn’t like it I just might have thrown the whole thing away.

I know for a fact that this is the knit that ate my mojo.  I just couldn’t knit anything or focus on new knits till I got this stupid thing off the needles.  Now that it finally is I can move on with my life!

So there we go.  Finally a finished project.  Course I’ve been knitting but I can’t show you things.  I have a sweater in the upcoming issue of Knit Magazine (issue 45) which I’m so excited about!  This is the sweater that customs demanded payment for so it was rejected, missed it’s deadline, and was sent back (which took 3 full months to arrive).  Then I have my Outlaw sweater to a tech editor which is really exciting for me because I’ve never used a tech editor before and I think it will really help a TON.  I haven’t decided if I’m going to have it test knitted yet, I know I probably should, I’m just still on the fence.   Then of course I’m about halfway through my Assassin’s Creed Sweater which is rocking my world. I wish it was my size but I will definitely knit another one for me.

Happy 2012. I have a feeling it’s going to be awesome.

 

The Most Important Thing I Learned in 2011

We all have those moments though we might not realize them at the time when we change our own lives.  We change our attitudes about things, we change our habits and we become the people we are today.  This year has been an amazing year for me.  It has been one of the toughest and most rewarding years of my life.  This year I became a farmer.  I’m not really sure how it happened but I know that it probably started with the sheep our friends Tom & Mette enabled us with.  Then it was chickens and turkeys and geese and ducks and then goats.  Ah goats how I love you. Anyone who does not love a goat is either A. Not ever met a goat, B. had to do all the goat chores when growing up with goats, or C. a complete psychopath.

Anyway, to say that my life changed this year is like saying that Noah went out for a 3 hour cruise.  My life is a million and ten ways different than it was when I left California.  Some of it is regional (I now own a proper rain coat and wear socks and real shoes) and some of it is just because I am finally free to be as I want to be.  Some of the ways I have changed are because I just had to.  I had to or else I would end up a pile of sniveling crying trembling mass of wife that was no good to anyone.  Why would this have happened you ask?  Turkeys.  Turkeys were almost the undoing of me.  Don’t laugh, I’m being serious (ok you can laugh a little because it’s pretty ridiculous).

See, I’m kind of a control freak.  This is where the people that know me really well are laughing because they know I am an absolute control freak.  Not only am I a control freak but I’m recovering from “Everything is a huge deal!!!!” syndrome.  My best friend Shawna will tell you it’s because I had very little control about anything growing up and that everything (OMFG did you touch the STEREO?!!!) was a BIG deal.  (I’m sorry mom, it was.)  My cousin Rebecca will tell you that marrying the Mr who is so laid back that if the apocalypse came he’d tell everyone to stop freaking out and just relax is sort of deprograming.  I think she’s right, he makes me a better person not because he sets out to change who I am but because he allows me to adjust my attitude gently and with support. Sometimes he will look at me though and shake his head before saying, “I just don’t get why you are freaking out!” and you know what?  I don’t know why either.  This year has been a lot of those kind of instances.  And I’ve taken them all on a case by case basis as I’ve decided what I wanted to do with them.

One instance was my need to control absolutely everything.  I let the turkeys be free range but of course, being me, I had RESTRICTIONS on their free rangability.  I know, it’s a sickness.  I didn’t even realize this was silly or stupid I just knew where I wanted my turkeys and what I did NOT want them to do.  You see where this is going right?  Yeah.  So my turkeys, 8 in total at the time, were fine the first few days.  They wandered around the big fenced in pasture at the back of the property with the goats and did their turkey business.  Then one of those bastards got the idea to jump up on the fence that separated my backyard from the pasture.  Tank had a blast scaring them off the fence and I urged him on.  How dare those turkeys think they are allowed on my fence?!

Then the turkeys hopped over the fence into the yard…with the dog.  There were multiple turkey chases every day as I herded them out of the yard.  Tank did pull out a few feathers here and there but no turkey was actually hurt.  Did it matter that everything ended up being ok? No.  It raised my stress level every time they did it.  Then the damn turkeys went on a walk about.  They’d hop the fence into my side pastures and wander around the property as if they could do anything they wanted to! The NERVE!  I didn’t have these pastures fenced and was CERTAIN something bad would happen.  (Because obviously fencing had totally kept them in right?)  So yeah.  I’d spend my days stopping everything I was doing to herd the turkeys back to where I wanted them.  I’d cry over it, I’d scream over it, I’d throw sad hissy fits I’m so glad no one witnessed.  I once even kicked a turkey and then felt really bad about it.

It was then that the Mr – who had up until this point ignored my self imposed plight and let me be as crazy as I needed to be – finally spoke up.  “Preita,” he said as calmly as he could when I was being super nutso, “why does it matter?  They always come back at night and if they don’t it was only $10.”

People.  My husband is the buddha sometimes I swear.  He was right and even in my crazed addled state I knew it.  The fact was, it didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter at all!  Why was I driving myself insane over something that DID NOT MATTER?  Because I had set self imposed rules for my animals and was upset when they did not follow them.  People, I had rules for my turkeys as if they’d ever understand them!  At that point I took a deep breath and agreed with him, it did not matter what the turkeys did.  I was not going to be insane over this anymore.  I decided at that moment to let it go, to let the turkeys be as the turkeys would be and just take a step back.  You know what happened?  Nothing.  They turkeys wandered everywhere they wanted to and at night, they came to the barn ready to go in at night.  The only thing that happened is that I was less stressed out, I had more time for doing things that were important to me with out the constant turkey interruptions and I was happier.  Go figure.

Months later when my in-laws visited I think this change in attitude perplexed my father in law – a man I look up to very much.  We were on the patio and he was smoking a cigar when a turkey started screeching.  He looked at me and frowned before saying, “Turkey’s on the barn.”  I looked up and noticed that one of the hens was indeed on the top of the barn.  “Yup,” I replied going back to knitting.  “Do you think it can get down?” he asked.  “Probably since it was able to get up there.”  “Are you going to do anything?” he pushed.  “Nope,” I answered.  Thirty minutes later the turkey was off the barn and they were on the roof of my house, “Turkey’s on the roof,” my father in law said.  “Yup, they do that” I replied as I continued to knit.  He looked at me and smiled.  I think it was the first time he’d seen me just really let it go, to not jump up and have a freak out.

I’ve tried to use this new found outlook in other areas in my life.  I call it my F*ck It motto.  If it doesn’t work, F*ck It and move on.  I am a very stubborn person so it’s hard for me to just move on sometimes but I’ve gotten better.  When something just won’t work I force myself to stop, walk away and do something else.  Chances are when I try it again with a level head it works just fine.  I have a new outlook on life and a little less stress all thanks to my amazing Mr and a bunch of willful turkeys.  Who thought that you could be taught a lesson by an animal with the brain the size of a walnut?

Happy New Year!  (BTW I have goat pictures to follow this post!)

Looking Back and Looking Forward

So it’s almost new years again and I don’t know where the year’s gone.  I’ve done a lot, a lot of crazy things a lot of fun things and a lot of things I never thought I’d do.

So I never really make resolutions because I make enough lists it would make a normal person crazy but this year I’m going to because there are a few things I really want to put some effort into.

1. I’m going to knit down the stash.  I’m going to do my best to knit with yarn only from my stash.  The only exception for this rule will be for designing things such as sweaters.

2. Along with this I’m going to knit down my queue on Ravelry.  Currently it stands at 5 pages and a 176 projects.  It grows faster than I actually knit the projects so I think it’s time to whittle it down a little.  Also this will get me some finished knits that I really want.

3. I’m actually going to work on submitting my writing to get published.  I’ve written a lot this year and it’s had a pretty positive responce so I’m going to go for it.

Things that are not resolutions but that I am just going to do are things like learn how to milk a goat, making cheese, and even working with my shepherd Kodiak to learn how to herd sheep.

The year in review…

We got chickens.

Lots of Chickens….Some which we ate and some which lay eggs…

We got some goats and I fell in love…

We got some gooses…

I started getting eggs from my chickens…

We picked 3 metric tons of blackberries…

I also learned how to can…

We adopted Tank a little brother who has really become a sweet addition to our family…

We rented a ram so we can have lambs this spring…

We added some pygoras to the farm…

We are hoping to expect turkey babies sometime this coming year…

Merry Goat-mas!

We wish you a merry goat-mas…

We wish you a merry goat-mass,

We wish you a merry goat-mass!

And a happy Baaaah year!

It was the night before Christmas and we were dressing up a goat…

 

“What is finer than dressing up a goat in headbands so cheery?”

The only thing better is dressing up a wooly ram…clearly.

The Sugarplum Favor – A New Short Story by Tad Williams

I have to say I am extremely proud and pleased to present an original short Christmas time story by one of my all time favorite authors, Tad Williams.

I know I’ve been a little spotty with the posts but a lot of what I’m doing right now is secret knitting and then just the other day Tank ran into me while I was in the pasture and dislocated my knee!  I am so badass that I put my patella back in place by myself (I’ve dislocated this knee 3 times) and thankfully was able to call my mom (who was in the house) to bring leashes for the dogs, my knee brace, and a shepherd’s crook so I could limp my way home.  So yeah. I’m a gimp right now.  Now without further blathering, I give you The Sugarplum Favor by Tad Williams.

(A post isn’t really a post with out a Christmas tree wearing Charlie goat is it?)

Tad Williams’ new short story collection, A Stark And Wormy Knight, is available now, worldwide, as an ebook, $4.99 (or equivalent) for one month

http://www.amazon.com/Stark-Wormy-Knight-ebook/dp/B006P2QX3U

The following story is unique to this blog and a few others.  Happy Holidays.

 

 

 

THE SUGARPLUM FAVOR

(A Christmas Story)

Tad Williams

 

           

            Danny Mendoza counted his change three times in while the teacher talked about what they were all supposed to bring for the class winter holiday party tomorrow.  It was really a Christmas party, at least in Danny’s class, because that’s what all the kids’ families’ celebrated.  Danny had his party contribution covered.  He had volunteered to bring napkins and paper plates and cups because his family had some left over from his little brother’s birthday party with characters from Gabba Gabba Hey on them.  He’d get teased about that, he knew, but he didn’t want to ask his mother to make something because she was so busy with his little brothers and the baby, and now that Danny’s stepfather Luis had lost his job they had a Money Situation.  Danny could live with a little teasing.

            Danny was going to buy a candy bar for his mother, one of those big ones.  That was going to be his Christmas present to her and Danny knew how much she’d like it — he hadn’t just inherited his small size and nimble fingers from her, he’d got her sweet tooth, too.  And she had just been talking about the Christmas a few years ago when Luis had a good job with the Sanitation Department and he’d brought her a whole box of See’s chocolates.  Danny knew he couldn’t match that, but the last of the money he’d saved up from raking leaves in the neighborhood and walking old Mrs. Rosales’ wheezy little dog should be enough to buy a big old Hershey bar that would make Mama smile.  No, what to get wasn’t a problem.  The thing that had him thinking so hard as he went down the street at a hurried walk, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, was whether he dared to get it now or should wait another day.

In Danny’s San Jose neighborhood the Mercado Estrella was like an African water hole, not only a crucial source of nurture but also the haunt of the most fearsome predator in his 3rd grade world.  Any stop at the little market meant he risked running into Hector Villaba, the big, mean fifth-grade kid who haunted Danny’s days and often his nights as well.  Danny couldn’t even begin to guess how much candy and other goodies Hector had stolen from him and the other kids over the years, but it was a lot — Hector was the elementary school’s Public Enemy Number One.  About half the time his victims got shoved around, too, or even hit, and none of the grown-ups ever did anything about it except to tell their humiliated sons they should learn how to fight back.  That was probably because Hector Villaba’s father was a violent, drunken brute who didn’t care what Hector did and everyone in the neighborhood was as scared of him as the kids at school were scared of his son.  The last time someone in the neighborhood had called the police on Hector’s dad, all their windows had been broken while they were at church and their car scratched from one end to another.

            Danny was still trying to make up his mind whether to risk stopping at the market today or wait for better odds tomorrow (when class ended early because of the holiday) when he saw Mrs. Rosales walking Pinto, her little spotted dog.  He almost crossed the street because he knew she’d want to talk to him and he’d spent a lot of time doing that already last week when went to her house to get Pinto nearly every day.  He was too close, though, she’d seen him, and Jesus hated being rude to old people almost as much as he hated it when kids lied, or at least that was what his mama always told him.  Danny wasn’t expecting much from Santa anyway, but if Jesus got upset things would probably be even worse.  He sighed and continued toward her.

            “Look who’s here!” Mrs. Rosales said when she saw him.  “Look, Pinto mi querida, it’s your friend Danny!”  But when he waved and would have passed by she told him, “Hold on a moment, young man, I want to talk to you.”

            He stopped, but he was really worried that Hector and his friends might catch up if he stood around too long.  “Yes, Mrs. Rosales?”

            “I short-changed you the other day.”  She took out a little coin purse.  It took her a long time to get it open with her knobby old fingers.  “I owe you a dollar.”

“Really?”  Danny was astonished.

She pulled out a piece of paper that looked like it had been folded and unfolded a hundred times and handed it to him.  “I know boys need money this time of year!”

            He thanked her, petted Pinto (who growled despite all their time together, because Pinto was a spoiled brat) and hurried toward the market.  Another dollar!  It was like one of those Christmas miracles on a television show – like the Grinch’s heart growing so much it made the x-ray machine go sproing!  This changed everything.  He could not only buy his mom’s present, he could buy something for himself, too.  He briefly considered blowing the whole dollar on a Butterfinger, his very favorite, but he knew hard candies would be a better investment — he could share them with his younger brothers, and it was Christmas-time, after all.  But whatever he got, he didn’t want to wait for tomorrow, not now that he had something to spend on himself.  Danny Mendoza had been candy-starved for days.  Nothing sweeter than the baby’s butterscotch pudding had passed his lips that week, and the pudding hadn’t been by his own choice.  (His baby sister had discovered that if she waved her spoon things flew and splattered, and she liked that new trick a lot.)  If he hurried to the market he should still get there long before Hector and his friends, who had many children to harass and humiliate on their way home.  It was a risk, of course, but with an unexpected dollar in his pocket Danny felt strangely confident.  There had to be such a thing as Christmas luck, didn’t there?  After all, it was a whole holiday about Jesus getting born, and Jesus was kind to everybody.  Although it sure hadn’t seemed like a lucky Christmas when Luis, Danny’s stepfather, had lost his job in the first week of December.  But maybe things were going to get better now — maybe, as his mama sometimes said, the Mendoza family’s luck was going to change.

            He was even more willing to believe in miracles when he saw no sign of Hector  and his friends at the market.  As he walked in Christmas music was playing loudly on the radio, that “Joy to the World” song sung by some smooth television star.  Tia Marisol, the little old lady who ran the place on her own since her husband died, was trying to hang some lights above the cigarettes behind the cash register.  She wasn’t his real aunt, of course.  Everybody in the neighbohood just called her “Tia.”

Oye, little man,” she called when she turned around and saw him.  “How’s your mama?”

            “Fine, Tia Marisol.  I’m getting her a present.”  He made his way past the postres to the long candy rack.  So many colors, so many kinds!  It almost seemed to glow, like in one of those cartoons where children found a treasure-cave.  When Danny was little, it was what he had imagined when the minister at the church talked about Heaven.  The only better thing he had ever seen in his whole life was the huge piñata at one of his school friends’ birthday party, years and years ago.  When the birthday boy knocked the piñata open and candy came showering out and all the kids could jump in and take what they want – that had been amazing.  Like winning a game show on television.  Danny still dreamed about it sometimes.

Danny realized that he was staring like a dummy at the rack of candy when every second the danger that Hector and his friends would arrive kept growing.  He quickly examined the big Hershey bars until he found one with a perfect wrapper, a massive candy bar that looked as if it had been made special for a commercial.  He would have loved to spend more time browsing — how often did he have a whole dollar to spend just on candy? — but he knew time was short, so he grabbed a good-sized handful of hard, sour candies for sucking, took several different colors of candy ropes; then, as worry grew inside him, as uncomfortable as needing to pee, he finally snatched up a handful of bubble gum and ran to the front counter.

            “What’s your hurry, m’hijo?” Tia Marisol asked.

            “Mom needs me,” he said, which he hoped was not enough of a lie to ruin Jesus’ upcoming celebration.  After all, Mom did always need his help, especially by this time in the day when she’d been on her own with the baby and the littlest brother since morning, and had just walked the other brother home from preschool.  He pulled the three dollars worth of much-counted change out of one pocket and mounded it in front of Tia Marisol, then put the Hershey bar and his own handful of candy down beside it before digging out the crumpled dollar Mrs. Rosales had given him.  She slid her glasses a little way down her nose while she looked at it all.

            “Where’d you get so much money, Danny?”

            “Raking lawns.  Taking Mrs. Rosales dog for walks.”

            Tia Marisol smiled, handed him back twenty-three cents, and put everything into a paper bag.  “You’re a good boy.  You and your family have a happy Christmas.  Tell your mama I said hello, would you?”

            “Sure.”  He was already halfway through the door, heart beating.

            The Christmas miracle continued outside: other than a couple of young mothers with strollers and bundled-up babies, and the old men who sat on the bus bench across the street drinking from bottles in paper bags, the area around the store was still clear.  Danny began to walk toward home as fast as he could without running, because he had the bag under his coat now and he didn’t want to melt Mama’s candy bar.  Still, he was almost skipping, he was so happy.  Joy to the world, the Lord is come…!

            Hey, Mendoza,” someone shouted in a hoarse voice.  What’s in the bag, maricon?”

            Danny stopped, frozen for a moment like a cornered animal, but then he began to walk again, faster and faster until he was running.  There was no question whose voice that was.  Pretty much every kid in his school knew it and feared it.

            “Hold up, Mendoza, or I’ll kick your ass good!”  The voice was getting closer.  He could hear the whir of bike tires on the sidewalk coming up behind him fast.  He looked back and saw that Hector Villaba and his big, stupid friends Rojo and Chuy were bearing down on him on their bikes, and in another second or two would ride him down.  He lunged to the side just as Hector stuck out his foot and shoved him, sending Danny crashing into the low wire fence of the house he was passing.  He bounced off and tumbled painfully to the sidewalk as Hector and his gang stopped just a few yards ahead, now blocking the sidewalk that led Danny home.  The hard candies had fallen out of his bag and were scattered across the sidewalk.  He got down on his knees, hurrying to pick them up, doing everything he could to avoid eye contact with Hector and the others, but when he reached for the last one Hector’s big, stupid basketball-shoe was on top of it.  The older boy leaned over and picked it up.  “Jolly Rancher, huh?  Not bad.  Not great, but not bad.”  He waved it in Danny’s face, making him look up from all fours like a dog at its master.  “I asked you what’s in the bag, Mendoza?”

            “Nothing!  It’s for my mama.”

            “For your mama?  Oh, iddn’t dat sweet?”  Hector’s fingers hooked under Danny’s chin and lifted.  Danny didn’t fight — he knew it wasn’t going to help — but he still flinched when he saw Hector’s round, sweaty face so close, the angry, pale yellow-brown eyes.  Hector Villaba even had the beginnings of a real mustache, a hairy smudge on his upper lip.  It was one of the things that made him so scary, one of the reasons why even bigger twelve year olds like Chuy and Rojo let him lead them — a fifth-grader with a mustache!

            “C’mon, open it up,” Hector told him.  “Let’s see what you got for your mama.”  When Danny still didn’t offer up the bag, Hector’s friend Chuy put a foot on Danny’s back and pushed down so hard that Danny had to brace himself to keep from being shoved against the sidewalk.  “I said show me, maricon,” said Hector.  “Chuy gonna break your spine.  He knows karate.”

            Danny handed Hector the bag, biting his lip, determined not to cry.  Hector pulled out the big Hershey Bar.  “Hijole!” he said.  “Look at that!  Something for your mama, shit — you were going to eat that all by yourself.  Not even share none with us.  That’s cold, man.”

            “It is for my mother!  It is!”  Danny pushed up against Chuy’s heavy hiking boot trying to reach the candy bar, which didn’t look anywhere near so huge clamped in Hector Villaba’s plump, dirty fingers.  Chuy took his weight off for a moment, then kicked Danny in the ribs hard enough to make him drop to the concrete and hug himself in pain.

            “If you try any more shit, we’ll hurt you good,” said Hector, laughing as he unwrapped the candy bar.  He tossed a piece to Chuy, then another to Rojo, who grabbed it out of the air and shoved it in his mouth like a starving dog, then licked his fingers.  Hector leaned down and gave Danny another shove, hard enough to crash him against the fence again.  “Don’t you ever try to hide anything from me.  I know where you live, dude.  I’ll come over and slap the bitch out of you and your mama both.”  He pointed to the hard candies still clutched in Danny’s hands.  “Get that other shit, too, yo,” Hector told Rojo, and the big, freckled kid bent Danny’s fingers back until he surrendered it all.

            The Christmas chocolate bar, looking sad and naked with half its foil peeled away, was still clutched in Hector’s hand as he and his friends rode away laughing, sharing the hard candy out of the bag.

            For a while Danny just sat on the cold sidewalk and wished he had a knife or even a gun and he could kill Hector Villaba, even if it made Jesus unhappy for weeks.  At that moment Danny almost felt like he could do it.  The rotten, mean bastard had taken his mom’s present!

            At last Danny wiped his eyes and continued home.  It was starting to get dark and the wind was suddenly cold, which made his scratched-up hands ache.  When he reached the apartment he let himself in, dropped his book bag by the door, then called a greeting to his mama feeding Danny’s baby sister in the kitchen as he hurried on to the bathroom so he could clean up his scratches and tear-stained face and do his best to hide the damage to the knees of his pants before she saw him up close.  It wouldn’t do any good to tell her what had happened – she couldn’t do anything and it would make her very sad.  Danny was used to keeping quiet about what went on between home and school, school and home.

After a while he went out and sat at the table and watched as his mother fed green goop to the baby.  Even her smile for Danny looked tired.  Mama worked so hard to keep them all fed and dressed, hardly ever yelled, and even sang old songs from Mexico for Danny and his brothers when she wasn’t too tired…

And now that cabron Hector had stolen her present, and he didn’t have any money left to get her something else.

 

*

Later that night, when the house was quiet and everyone was asleep, Danny found himself crying again.  It was so unfair!  What had happened to the Christmas luck?  Or did that kind of thing only happen to other kids, other families?

“Please, Jesus,” he prayed quietly.  “I just have to get Mama something for Christmas – something Hector can’t take.  If that’s a miracle, okay – I mean, I know you can’t do them all the time, but if you got one…an extra one…”

 

            *

            Something woke him up – a strange noise in the living room.  For a moment he lay in bed wondering if Santa Claus might have come, but then he remembered it was still three days until Christmas.  Still, he could definitely hear something moving, a kind of quiet fluttery sound.   His brothers were both sprawled in boneless, little-boy sleep across the mattress they shared, so he climbed carefully over them and made his way out to the living room.  At first he saw nothing more unusual than the small Christmas tree on top of the coffee table, but as he stared, his eyes trying to get used to the dark, he saw the tree was…moving?  Yes, moving, the top of the pine wagging like a dog’s tail.

Danny had never heard of a Christmas tree coming to life, not even in a TV movie, and it scared him.  He picked up the tennis racket with the missing strings Luis kept promising to fix, then crawled toward the scraggly tree with its ornaments of foil and cut paper.

            As he got closer he could see that something small was caught in the tree’s topmost branch, trying to fly away but not succeeding.  He could hear its wings beating so fast they almost buzzed.  A bird, trapped in the apartment?  A really big moth?

            Danny looked for one of the baby’s bowls to trap it, then had a better idea and crept to the kitchen cabinet where his mom kept the washed jars.  He picked a big one that had held sandwich spread and slithered commando-style back to the living room.  Whatever the thing was, it was really stuck, tugging and thrashing as it tried to free itself from the pine needles.  He dropped the jar over it and pulled carefully on the branch until the thing could finally get free, then Danny clapped the lid on the jar to keep it from escaping.

            The thing inside the jar went crazy now, flying against the glass, the wings going so fast that it made it hard for him to see for certain what it was.  The strange thing was, it actually looked like a person — a tiny, tiny little person no bigger than a sparrow.  That was crazy.  Danny knew it was crazy.  He knew he had to be dreaming.

            “What are you doing?” the thing said in a tiny, rasping voice.  It didn’t sound happy at all.  “Let me go!”

            Danny was so startled to hear it talk that he nearly dropped the jar.  He held it up to the light coming in from the street lamp to get a better look.  The prisoner in the jar was a little lady — a lady with wings!  A real, honest-to-goodness Christmas miracle!  “Are you…an angel?” he asked.

            “Let me out, young man, and we’ll talk about it.”  She didn’t sound much like an angel.  Actually, she sounded a lot like that scratchy-voiced nanny on that TV show his mama watched sometimes.  Her hair was yellow and kind of wild and sticky-uppy, and she wore a funny little dancing dress.  She was also carrying a bag over her shoulder like Santa did, except that hers wasn’t much bigger than Danny’s thumb .

            “P-Promise you won’t fly away?” he asked this strange small person.  “If I let you out?”

            She had her tiny hands pressed up against the inside of the jar.  She shook her head so hard her little sparkly crown almost fell off.  “Promise.  But hurry up — I don’t like enclosed places.  Honest, it makes me want to scream.  Let me out, please.”

            “Okay.  But no cheating.”  He unscrewed the lid on the jar and slowly turned it over.   The tiny lady rose up, fluttering into the light that streamed through the living room window.

“Oh, that’s so much better,” she said.  “I got stuck in a panoramic Easter egg once, wedged between a frosting bunny and a cardboard flower pot.  Thought I was going to lose my mind.”

“Wow,” he said.  “Who are you?  What are you?”

            She carefully landed on the floor near his knee.  “I’m a sugarplum fairy,” she said.  “Like in that ballet.”

            “Huh?”

            “Never mind.  Look, thanks for getting me loose from that tree.”  She turned herself around trying to look down at herself.  “Rats!  Ripped my skirt.  I hate conifers.”  She turned back to Danny.  “I didn’t mean to scare you, I was just passing through the neighborhood when I felt somebody thinking candy thoughts — real serious candy thoughts.  I mean, it was like someone shouting.  Anyway, that’s what we do, us sugarplum fairies — we handle the candy action, especially at Christmas time.  So I thought I should come and check it out.  Was it you?  Because if it was, you’ve got the fever bad, kid.”  She reached into her bag and produced a lollypop bigger than she was, something that couldn’t possibly have fit in there.  “Here, have one on me.  You look like you need it.”

            “Wow.  Wow!”  He suddenly realized he was talking out loud and dropped his voice, worried that he would wake up his mama and Luis.  He reached out for the lollypop.  “You’re really a fairy.  Do you know Jesus?”

            She shrugged.  “I think he’s in another department.  What’s your name?  It’s Danny, isn’t it?”

            He nodded.  “Yeah.”  It suddenly struck him.  “You know my name…?”

            “I’ve got it all written down somewhere.”  She started riffling through her bag again, then pulled out something that looked like a tiny phone book.  She took out an equally small pair of glasses, opened the book and began reading.  “For some reason you fell off the list here, Danny.  No wonder you’re so desperate — you haven’t had a sugarplum delivery in quite a while!  Well, that at least I can do something about.”  She frowned as she took a pen out of the apparently bottomless bag and made a correction.  “Of course, they may not process the new order until early next year, and I’m not scheduled back in this area until Valentines Day.”  She frowned.  “Doesn’t seem fair…”  A moment later her tiny face brightened.  “Hey, since you saved me from that tree branch I think I’m allowed to give you a wish.  Would you like that?”

            “Really?  A wish?”

“Yes.  I can do that.”

“You’ll give me a wish?  Like magic?  A wish?”

            She frowned again.  “Come on, kid, I know you’ve been shorted on candy the last couple of years but is your blood sugar really that low?  I just very clearly said I will give you a wish.  We’re allowed to when someone helps us out.”

            He was so excited he could barely sit still.  It was a Christmas miracle after all, a real one!  “Could I wish for, like, a million dollars?”  Then even if Luis didn’t find another job for a while, the family would be okay.  More than okay.

            She shook her head.  “Sorry, kid, no.  I only do candy-related wishes.  You want one of those extra big gummy bears?  I hear those are popular this year.  I could bend some rules and get it to you by Christmas.”

            He was tempted — he’d seen an ad on television — but now it was his turn to shake his head.  “Could I just get a big Hershey bar?  One of those extra-big ones?  For my mother?”

            The little woman tilted her head up so she could see him better from where she stood down on the ground.  “Truly?  Is that all you want?  Gee, kid, I could feel the desperation coming off this house like weird off an elf.  You sure you don’t want something a little more…substantial?  A pile of candy, maybe?  A year’s supply of gumdrops or something?  As long as it’s candy-related, I can probably get it done for you, but you better decide quick.”  She pulled quite a large pocket watch on a chain out of her bag, then put on her glasses again.  “After midnight, and I’ve still got half my rounds to go.”  She looked up at him.  “You seem like a nice kid, Danny, and it doesn’t look like you guys are exactly swimming in presents and stuff.  How about a nice pile of candy, assorted types?  Or if you’d rather just concentrate on — what did you say, Hershey Bars? — I could probably arrange a shopping bag of those or something…”

            For a moment his head swam at the prospect of a grocery bag full of giant chocolate bars, more than Hector the Butt-head Villaba could ever dream of having now matter how much he stole…but then another idea came floating up from deep down in Danny’s thoughts – a strange, dark idea.

            “Can you do all kinds of wishes?  Really all kinds?”

            “Yeah, but just one.  And it definitely has to be candy-related.  I’m not a miracle worker or anything.”

            “Okay.  Then  I’ll tell you what I want.”  Danny could suddenly see it all in his imagination, and it was very, very good.

 

            *

            The school holiday party was nice.  Danny and his classmates played games and sang songs and had a snack of fruit and cheese and crackers.  Nobody brought Chips Ahoy cookies, but one of the mothers did indeed bring cupcakes, delicious chocolate ones with silver, green and red sprinkles for Christmas.  There were even enough left over that although Danny had finished his long ago despite making it last as long as possible, he was allowed to take home the last two for his little brothers.  He suspected that the teacher knew his family didn’t have much money, but for this one day it didn’t embarrass him at all.

            After the bell rang Danny followed the other third-graders toward the school gate, holding one cupcake carefully in each hand, his book bag draped over his shoulder.  He was watching his feet so carefully that he didn’t see what made the other children suddenly scatter to either side, but as soon as he heard the voice he knew the reason.

            “Look at that, it’s Maricon Mendoza, yo,” said Hector Villaba.  “What’d you bring us for Christmas, kid?”  Danny looked up.  The mustached monster was sitting astride his bike just a few yards down the sidewalk, flanked by Rojo and Chuy.  “Oh, yeah, dude — cupcakes!” said Hector.  “You remembered our Christmas presents.”  He scooted his bike forward until he stood directly over Danny, then reached out for the cupcakes.  Danny couldn’t help it — he jerked back when Hector tried to take them, even though he knew it would probably earn him another bruising.

            “Punch the little chulo’s face in,” Rojo suggested.             Hector dropped his bike with a clatter.  The other kids from school who had stopped to stare in horrified fascination jumped out of his way as he strode forward and grabbed the cupcakes out of Danny’s hands.  He peeled the paper off one and shoved the whole cupcake in his mouth, then tossed the other to Chuy.  “You two split that,” he said through a mouthful of devil’s food, then turned his attention back to Danny, who was so scared and excited that he felt like electricity was running through him.  “Next time, you better remember to bring one for each of us, Mendoza.  You only bring two, that’s going to get your ass kicked.”

            Danny backed away.  It was hard to look into those yellow-brown eyes and not run crying, let alone keep thinking clearly, but Danny did his best.  He dropped his book bag to the ground and out fell the stringless tennis racket that he had brought from home.  Hector hooted with angry laughter as Danny snatched it up and held it before him as if it was a cross and Hector was a vampire.

            “Que?  You going to try to hit me, little boy?”  Hector laughed again, but he didn’t sound happy.  He didn’t like it when people stood up to him.  “I’ll take that away from you and beat your ass black and blue, Mendoza.”  The bully took a step nearer and held out his hand.  “Give it to me or I’ll break your fingers.”

            “No.”  Danny wasn’t going to step back any farther.  He lifted the racket, waved it around like a baseball bat.  It was old and flimsy, but he had come to school determined today.  “You can’t have it…you fat asshole.”

            Behind Hector, Rojo let out a surprised chortle, but Hector Villaba didn’t think it was funny at all.

            “That’s it,” he said, curling his hands into fists.  “After I kick your ass, I’m gonna rub your face in dog shit.  Then I’m gonna kick your ass again.  You’re gonna spend Christmas in the hospital.”  Without warning, he charged toward Danny.

            Danny stepped to the side and swung the racket as hard as he could, hitting Hector right in the stomach.  With a whoop of surprise and pain Hector bent double, but when he looked up he didn’t look hurt, just really, really mad, his eyes staring like a crazy dog’s eyes.

            “That’s…it.  I’m…going…to…get…you…Mendoza…” he said, then sucked in air and stood up straight, but even as he did so a funny expression crossed his face and he looked down at where he was holding his belly.  Hector’s hands were suddenly full of crackling, cellophane-wrapped hard candies, so many of them that they cascaded over his fingers and onto the ground.  He lifted his hands in disbelief to look and dozens more of the candies slid out of the front of his open jacket — candy bars, too, fun-size and even regular ones, Snickers bars, Mounds, Tootsie Rolls, lollipops, candy canes, even spicy tamarindos.  The other children from the school stared in horrified fascination, guessing that Danny had broken a bag that Hector had been carrying under his coat.  They were so scared of Hector that they didn’t move an inch toward any of the candy that was still slithering out of the big boy’s coat and pooling on the ground at his feet.

            “Oh, man,” one of the other third graders said in a hoarse whisper, “Mendoza’s going to get beat up so bad…!”

            But even more candy was pouring out of Hector’s belly now, as if someone had turned on a candy-faucet, a great river of sweets running out of the place where Danny had knocked him open with his old tennis racket.

            “What the…?”  Then Hector Villaba looked down at himself and began to scream in terror.  Candy was showering out of him faster and faster onto the sidewalk, already piled as high as the cuffs of his pants and still coming.

            “Hijole, dude!”  said Rojo.  “You’re a piñata!”

            Hector looked at him, eyes rolling with fear, then he turned sprinted away down the street squealing like a kindergartner, a flood of candy still pouring from him, Crunch Bars, M&Ms,  (plain and peanut) as well as boxes of gumdrops and wax-wrapped pieces of taffy, all raining onto the street around the bully’s legs and feet, bouncing and rolling.

            Rojo and Chuy watched Hector run for a moment, then turned to stare at Danny with a mixture of apprehension and confusion.  Then turned from him to look at each other, came to some kind of agreement, and threw themselves down on their knees to start scooping up the candy that had fallen out of Hector Villaba.  Within a few seconds the other school kids were all scrambling across the ground beside them, everybody shoveling candy into their pockets as fast as they could.

            Danny waited until he wasn’t breathing so hard, then started for home, following the clear trail of candy that had gushed from Hector Villaba as he ran.  He didn’t bother to pick up everything, since for once in his life he could afford to be selective.  He stuffed one pocket of his jacket with candy for his brothers, then filled the other just with Butterfinger Bars, at least six or seven, but kept walking with his head down until he spotted a nice, big Hershey Bar in good condition which he zipped in his book bag so it would stay safe for his mother.  The rest of the way home he picked up whatever looked interesting and threw it into the book bag too, until by the time he reached home he was staggering with its weight up the apartment building walkway.  For once, Hector Villaba had been the one who had run home crying.

            He didn’t feel sorry for Hector, either, not at all.  Scared as the fifth-grader was now, he would be all right when he reached home.  Danny had made that a part of the wish and the fairy had said she thought it was a good idea.  Jesus didn’t want even mean kids to die from having their guts really fall out, Danny felt pretty sure, so he had done his best not to spoil the Lord’s birthday.  Of course Hector Villaba probably wouldn’t have a very merry Christmas, but Danny had decided that Jesus could probably live with that.

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