Mr Poopers Day Out

Some how it has managed to revert back to winter in the last few days. I don’t know how this quite happened but it has and I don’t know how to feel about it.  I didn’t live away from the Midwest that long and must have forgotten the teaser of nice weather & the one last snow of April. What ever it is, the birds are going nuts. 

 There is a war going on right now in my backyard.  Two opposing forces are fighting for control of the birdfeeders.  Starlings V Grackles.  I have to say that in my heart I’m rooting for the grackles because they are not as rude a bird as the starlings. We had a flock of starlings stay in our yard for 3 weeks & all they did was empty the feeder & crap all over my house. And I do mean ALL OVER!  The grackles however crow looking with their sharp pointy black beaks & bigger bodies allow any other bird that can fit at the feeder.

 So while there are squawks and the thrum of wings and yes, a few head pecks & leg nips from both grackle & starling we are being continuously dive bombed by sparrows, black eyed junos, cardinals, and one lonely red bellied woodpecker.  These must be the special forces. Just there to cause chaos.

What ever it is, I’m going to need to get some more bird seed out there before they come after me!

Ah the joys of a mail order bride.

Our parent company has decided to give us the honor, nay the privilege of hiring another person. This may have been due to the fact that we employees at GTL have been dropping like flies with various stress related illnesses. (Or it could be that Matt is mostly bald from me grabbing his head like an over ripe melon and screaming “I CAN’T DO THIS BY MYSELF ANYMORE!”) Who knows. It’s all a mystery to me.

 So here we are, listing the vast qualities we would like in our new person.  This person may not be permanent as they are coming from a temp agency, but you can’t help but feel a certain amount of pride.  We are picking and choosing abilities like yuppie parents picking out the best genes for their baby.  Course this is better, a temp is akin to a mail order bride, if the first one doesn’t work out, we just send it back and get a totally new one! It’s fantastic.  We are aiming for the most spectacular work machine that our $8.75/ hour can buy us! Like allowance day at the Goodwill!

This means that while Matt and I are taking our first vacation together in 4 years we will not have to worry as much about the stupidocracy taking over our company and coming home to a dictatorship of crazy ass shenanigans.  Ah, this is truly the life. A vacation and a temp, what more could a girl aspire to?! (Course the boys in charge wouldn’t let me put “Must look like Vin Diesel” as a requirement, but what do they know? I would be TWICE as productive if you just let me sit on his lap!)

 Matt just booked his plane ticket for the ETA in Vegas. I love how our industries biggest event of the year is abbreviated for “Estimated Time of Arrival”. It’s quite accurate. WHO KNOWS WHEN YOUR LEASE WILL BE DONE!  So he will be off shaking hands and toasting those cute blond sales people (every company has them!) while I hold down the fort. Actually, I’m quite good at “holding down the fort”. Seriously, I am made for situations like this. As a self confessed know  it all and control freak I’m very happy to be leading the pack. While we do usually have our biggest days while Matt is out (maybe my venom scares our vendors enough to the point where they put out double rather than getting a ass kicking?) I do miss him. He’s the nice one at work. He makes sure that when people are being a complete dumb-ass I don’t actually physically TELL them that to their face. So it’s a lot of stress keeping that in for 4 days. I might randomly go to the supermarket & start berating people for not being able to choose the right ham in the allotted amount of time.

 So fun things are in store, just you wait!

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