Yesterday was a little hard on the emotional front. Somehow babies were brought up at work & the usual (good natured & completely unaware) pestering started. Yes, Matt and I have been married 5 years, yes yes yes. *sigh*
Also, babies were brought up at knitting and it was way more helpful. (I think this has to do with 1. the age of the group, these women are older than me and have seen so much more & had to comfort friends & support family through so much more than people my age have, & 2. they come from such a wide range of background and experiences that someone has usually dealt with anything you are sometime in the past).
See, since I had my D & C & HGC last June I have been really hesitant to have anyone else poking around my body (and in it) “trying” to figure out what the problem is & the “maybe this will work” attitude is beyond distressing. So I have been riding the fence about how much further I wanted to go. I stopped taking hormones and such in January because frankly, I hated who I was on them. They made me a person I didn’t like very much. So basically I was in a holding pattern & getting a little more depressed about it with each passing week. This isn’t something you snap out of or ever are truly ok with.
I don’t think that anyone who has not gone through this could ever imagine what all is involved and how you feel about it.
I like this picture because it’s very MC Escher. You probably have no idea where I was standing in this picture or which direction is truely up. I think this sums up very well how one feels going through many stages of infertility.
But yeah, so Miss Teri brought up that someone she knew used acupuncture. And that it worked. Now I don’t know if it actually worked or if biology was key here, but the thing is that this is a way cheaper option. And honestly, when you only have a 15% chance with IUI and roughly the same with IVF why not give it a try? I will chew nasty herbs if it increases my chances, I mean, what’s the difference between that & injecting yourself with man made hormones? (frankly, and I hate to admit this, I would drink poo flavored tea if it would mean I would actually get pregnant). So yeah, I found this and I filled out a contact form. I think I’m at least going to go in and see what it’s about.
I’ve always had to work a little harder than most people for what I want, but that usually means that I am more open minded to places off the beaten path if it will get me the same results. My mom always said “Work smarter, not harder”. Coming from a woman who is the opitomy of hard work (she was the first union woman carpenter in the state of Minnesota) you know she didn’t get where she was by being dumb.
This all said, I am still probably at the happiest point in my life that I have been in quite some time. I honestly really like my job (love would intail me magically becoming a CEO New York power bitch or a well paid nature photographer), my family is amazing, I constantly get to squish my niece and knitting is still my zen.
So cheers to new experiences, and new pathways. We will see where they take us.
Hey there, I can relate. I am new here. Looking to find support from others that truly know what we’re going through. I too have been married for 5 years and have faced the many procedures and obstacles. Felt the hope rise and fall and questioned how far to take this. Where is a crystal ball when you need it hehehe ! it hasn’t all been completely negative for me either. I have opened new doors in my life to pass times, gardening, I too enjoy knitting, and some special volunteer time. I think there are bright shiny days ahead for us both. Thanks for your story. Cheers to you too!