Last night I took my first weaving class. Though it would never replace my obsessive knitting needs it is, in a way, instant gratification. The progress can be so much faster. Akin I guess to knitting fair isle with chunky weight yarn in that you can see the colors and textures come together faster than in knitting.

Also? I joined sock wars. (I see at the moment that wordpress is updating or something & the link inserter doesn’t work. Nice. http://sockwarsiii.memberlodge.org/)  How long will I last? I have no idea. I knit continental & always have, but I have gotten comments from OTHER continential knitters that I knit fast. People, I do everything fast, if there were a gold metal awarded to who could get in & out of the ladies room I would be #1 every time (Ha, unless I’m going #2, ok I’m dumb). Seriously.  I know I’m a fast knitter and the means to knit when others can’t (I knit at work, easily about 4-5 hours a day. Yes I do. Don’t look at me like that.)  This is how I finish sweaters inside of a week. You all wondered, now you know. 

Now you want to know how to get my job (as is the usual responce), well I don’t know, first I guess you have to spend 5 years working your butt to the pointy little bones for way less pay than people who do 1/4 the work. (And let them take credit for it).  You do everything that is ever asked of you and MORE, oh yes, way more, you have vendors calling you at 6AM saturday morning wondering where their 8AM delivery is, you let them call you drunk (or high?) from their hot tubs and bathrooms and ramble on to you about their marriages, mothers and occasionally hitting on you (while your husband laughs his as off at).

Then you get your dream house in a relocation & it’s fabulous & you love the state & have friends & oops, you are sold & are relocating again & your heart breaks & you cry at your desk every day for exactly 1 & 1/2 months, then you really need to move on).

Then somewhere along the line you come across a brilliant young man who you used to work with & whom has turned the company that you originally worked for around from broke to making money.  Then he offers you a job, now even though you hate your current boss (because she is the SHE-HULK (Hulk is MAD!) and is nasty and dominereing and just an unhappy threatened jerk) you hem & haw, (make this last about a week) then they re-offer the job for even more money than before & way more than you were making (bumping you and your husband up into a tax bracket where you will never, ever get a refund again. Accept this & move on). Decision made. Now, excell at your new job (nope no knitting yet folks), doing things the previous person never did or did wrong.  Make the guy at First Data your best friend & do even more things, in even less time than anyone thought could be done. Surprise everyone. Smile & accept your raise. Knit to your hearts content while reading industry news on ID fraud.