Today I had my root canal done. All I can say is that my new dentist is probably the most fabulous man on the face of the earth and I actually did laugh during a root canal. My crown is schedualed the 29th and then we can move on from this disastrous dental drama 
(say that 3 times fast!).
After the dentist since it was only 9:30 I told Matt I need McDonald’s breakfast burritos & Iced Coffee (Breakfast burritos & I go back a long time & remain my biggest favorite at McDonald’s). For some reason he forgot about the Micky D’s in Camarillo & headed to Ventura. 1rst this MD is small, dirty & really slow. 2nd the kind of people in there? Yeah. Anywho.
We get in line. Everyone has figured out that there is really only one register being worked & have formed ONE LINE. So Mr “I’m so cool with my tattoos & upscale skater gear” (which will now be referred to as The Dick) jumped line & stood at the 2nd register. Can I tell you how much this pisses me off? I can’t stand rudeness. From me or anyone else. I might be a loud mouth but in public I am as polite and civilized as I can be. We are all people, we all deserve a certain amount of respect.
I decide to leave it and focus on my tasty burrito experience awaiting me. Then The Dick realizes that he’s not being helped (Because people, there is only one register open) so he loudly & RUDELY asks “Is ANYONE going to SERVE me today?” Which threw me over the line. I (still feeling the effects of the nitrous gas) reply “Well there IS a line, maybe if you were in it they would help you”. This people, was wrong. There are only two correct and appropriator responses when you are called out for line cutting. 1. Ignore it like it never happened, or 2. face your accuser, apologize & get in line. What did The Dick do?
Apparently option 3. In option 3. You turn around & say “Listen CUNT, I AM in my own line”. This is where I would have dropped it, someone this angry in a McDonald’s needs his coffee more than me. But unfortunately I had the Mr there. The Mr switched into “Man Mode” (You ladies all know the one where you can smell the testosterone flowing) and started toward this guy saying along the lines of “I would appreciate it if you didn’t call my wife a cunt” to which The Dick replies “Man you DO NOT want to throw down with me, you dont’ even KNOW who your messing with”. Ok, um, this is Ventura, it’s not like it’s LA, no one around here knows anyone great, I mean in Camarillo they do have a Hells Angeles run tattoo shop (my husband has actually met the founder) but this guy was not a HA. The whole time I was in the process of putting myself in front of him because, people, this is breakfast. Not even a great breakfast, but I did want my tasty breakfast burritos. The Mr ended up stepping back in line (because he is awesome and is a grown up).
The Dick ordered, & moved to the left side of the restaurant, we ordered & moved to the right side and no one looked at each other. I mean, who is really going to get in a fight about cutting in line at a McDonalds? Seriously? Over the dollar menu?
So we all get our food & leave. The Mr & I let The Dick out first & watch as he gets into his car before we leave. We are too old to fight in the parking lot at a McDonald’s, and frankly, we aren’t white trash so it’s not like this is on our list of “100 things to do before we die”.
As the Mr pops the locks to our car I hear a horn honking. I know what this is, the Mr knows what this is. The Dick is trying to get the Mr to look at him to start something. The Mr won’t look. We have our hot tasty burritos & are going home to watch the re-run of Wednesday’s Project Runway (that I missed! DOH!). Then The Dick YELLS across the parking lot, “Such a big man now aren’t you?!! Let’s GO!” Um yeah. Ok this guy wasn’t small but he wasn’t big either. On the other hand he had just called out a very large man (whom I have seen pick up the fridge & move it instead of just sliding it) and who, when he played football, was a human brick wall, this man can still leg press 400LBS. Really? You want to mess with this man?
We obviously ignored him because, really, who does this? We did make it home with no further confrontation. We did make sure he left the parking lot in the opposite direction of us & before us so he couldn’t follow. Someone who gets this angry about being called out for cutting in line is most likely on something. It’s just not a normal human reaction.
I did apologize profusely to the Mr for my big Finnish mouth. It comes with the territory of a Scandinavian woman. We are loud mouths & opinionated (at least all that I have met!). I have called out tons of people for line cutting, and this is the first time I was threatened with bodily harm. Sheesh, someone needs a Valium.
