I’ll admit it, it may make me self-conscious or vain or self-absorbed or whatever, but it crosses my mind quite a bit when I meet new people if I’m actually liked. I might have a skewed ability to judge this which would lead me to always question it. I know with 100% certainty that approximately 10 people like me without a doubt. Kinda sad that I know that right? That I know that I can open my mouth and 10 people will take it or leave it with out taking offence.
This leads me to wonder what makes a person likable in mass. What percentage of it has to do with similar interests vs their natural ability just to talk to people? I am a crazy social person, but I am also very shy. I know, crazy right? So when I force myself to go be social despite being afraid of all the new and unpredictable people I might meet I actually usually excel. I can talk to just about anyone with success, but it will take me months to see if they actually like me even if they do. Maybe I have an extended trial period with people before inviting them fully into my life which is odd since I will usually see this as completely the opposite.
You’d think that I’d be good at this by now having moved so much with the Mr, but the fact is we are pretty self sufficient as far as a couple goes. I’m lucky to have married my best friend and so we spend a lot of time hanging out just the two of us. Whenever I look around I feel as if this might not be the norm and get the comment “you need friends” from well-meaning outside influences. I have friends though, even outside my husband, the problem is they don’t share my state. So what I need to do is make new friends. But, as an adult how does one make new friends? You reach out as an almost 30-year-old dork and hope that you aren’t the subject of ridicule. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Maybe if I had kids this would be easier. Maybe if I was a harried PTA mom I would meet other harried PTA moms who might share a book club with me but I doubt I read what they read and maybe that wouldn’t work out either.
I guess what I am saying, is how, as an adult in a new city/state how do you make new friends, how do you engage other adults in a non-weird still fun way where it doesn’t feel like you are on an awkward first date with someone you aren’t sure your attracted to?
In other non-brain case news here’s my newest Weave It shawl in the works.