Then the business took off and it was finally ready to leave behind California and it’s madness (along with in-laws I sorely miss) and stake a claim in the south-western Washington.  The first few weeks were chaotic at best but we have settled into live in our semi-rural home nestled in acres of pasture, trees, birds, and all sorts of wonderful wildlife.  The Mr had picked out the most wonderful house and property.  Since I was still living in California and packing I saw only a few poorly chosen pictures captured by the real estate agent so I wasn’t prepared.  The house is lovely, it’s set up well, not to large, has plenty of storage (with a second unattached garage), 5 acres of enclosed pasture and a wonderful barn that makes me all sorts of happy.

Still, something seemed to be missing.  I spent my first few months knitting ferociously, reading, cooking, cleaning, unpacking, exploring, and spending copious amounts of time with Tank on walks.  We added chickens, turkeys, geese, and ducks to the property giving it a sense of purpose and giving us a sense of satisfaction in growing something that was meant to nourish our bodies as well as our spirits.  We had been lost in the fold of Californian greed, and frankly, it hurts.  Raising our livestock fills a need to create and harvest that is intensely satisfying in a way that is hard to explain.  It’s hard to put into words that this chicken has lived a good, well cared for life and now will nourish the family that raised it.  That the vegetables will grow and their harvest will be reaped and enjoyed more than any store-bought lettuce ever has.  Wool shorn from my sheep and spun into yarn and knit into a sweater will be a better sweater than any ever offered by a designer.

We are returning to the land as my Father in Law puts it.  The odd bit is that he seems to say it with pride.  We never expect anyone else to understand why we have chosen the life we are living – and of course this is only the tip of the iceberg - but we certainly don’t expect understanding and such acceptance.  We love it, but most people would rather not raise chickens and turkeys for the dinner table, though many do it for eggs.  Raising livestock isn’t hard but it isn’t as easy as dropping by the store after work and grabbing some chicken breasts.  What it lacks in ease it more than makes up for in environmental impact, sustainability, and wholesomeness.  I know where my birds come from, I know they are healthy and what they eat.  I know they have no extra hormones and that they have never suffered (except when they are slow to get into the coop at night and I pick them up, and they will tell you this is suffering in the worst sort!).

I finally have realized in the last couple of weeks what was missing.  I was missing my stress, my worry, my anxiety.  I wasn’t taking any anti depressant (which I had been doing every other 6 months or so for the last couple of years).  I’m happier than I have been in years and frankly, after that long, it’s a little odd.  Yes, I’ve been always pretty happy, I have an amazing husband, an amazing family, amazing friends, and an amazing dog, but there was always a tinge of misery I hid from the world.  Now though, even on the worst days, even on days when no chicken wants to go into the coop at night and I have to pull them out from under the coop, kneeling in chicken poop in the process, or when Tank finds coyote musk and rolls in it happy as can be I am happier that I could imagine.  I am happiest now when I am the dirtiest, most tired, and most sore because it means I am doing something meaningful, something with purpose.  I didn’t realize before how much I needed this but now that I have it I don’t think I could give it up.  It might not be the life for everyone but I think I have finally found my best life.

Thankfully we are with in driving distance.

What has happened since the last post. Well it officially became winter & so it snowed. Tank got a new coat & actually does very well in it.  He’s a big dog, but not a hairy one so a rain coat/ parka was a must. Especially since we go to the dog park daily. I think I take my dog to the park more often than some people do with their kids!

Since I get asked this A LOT, I got Tank’s coat at Pets On Broadway in Portland.  They have a ton of designs, larger sizes (who knew that my dog and I would have the same fit problems?!) and friendly staff.  I felt bad when Tank growled at the sales gal who was helping me put on his coat, but I think I would have growled too if someone caught my wiener (assuming I was male and HAD a wiener) in the elastic. It was $28 bucks (no sales tax, thank you Oregon) and it’s machine washable.  What more could you want?

I have put out seed for the birds and though the squirrels can get to it, they preferred their own way.

I have designed a simple shawl and have found a new model!

Pattern coming soon.

My mother has sent her usual pre-Christmas package with goodies to be enjoyed before the holidays.  This however is the most amazingly horrific and awesome thing I could have ever expected.  Mom, seriously, you couldn’t have done better unless you sent me a zombie ornament!

Not only is it super metallic & has a scary “I’ll end your existence” smile, but it’s motion activated and TALKS.  Seriously, I love it, and I love it because it’s so horrific. I’m a little afraid of how awesome this is.

Also, the Mr and I had family portraits done with an amazing photographer here in Portland.  He was fab, fun, easy-going, and did amazing work.  The Mr and I are not America’s Next Top Model fierce so I had my doubts but the photos turned out fab.  Can’t wait to order!

My wonderful MIL came yesterday and saved my sanity by helping me pack the last bits of the house. She will tell you she didn’t do that much, but it was darn nice to have someone to talk to while doing this chore.

The movers come tomorrow.

(This is not how we pack the cats though it would be so much easier!)

I’m so sick of being surrounded by boxes.  It feels like you are completely out of control.

I’ve been working on a third version of my Channel Islands Shawl. I have some really good testers who are working quite hard so I think this will be available soon.  I really love these colors together. I’m making this larger & I might add a feather & fan border instead of the ripple version.

Last night some of my knit sisters came together so I could enjoy their company one last time. It was SO HOT but thank god for beer!  I don’t know how I managed to cut Deb out of this picture (Sorry Deb!).  I love these women so much and am really blessed beyond words to have met them and been so welcomed. I’m going to miss everyone so much!

Only a few days left of being a Californian and then I will become a Washingtonian

I’ve applied to a few different types of jobs, nothing insane because I know there are things I won’t do and things I can’t do.  I won’t work mind numbing manual labor (that’s not saying I won’t work with my hands, it just has to be stimulating), I won’t sell, I won’t work in a restaurant.  Things I can’t do include accounting,  and IT.  If I could go back to my post high school self I would have whispered this nugget of brilliant.  “Dear Preita, you should double major in accounting and computer science. Then you will never ever be unemployed”

I took per the Mr’s insistence 3 full work days off last week.  3 days where I did not go completely nuts looking for a job.   I slept in till 8 am, had coffee, watched Good Morning America and had many more doctors appointments than I’ve had in the last year.  I had an ultra sound, blood tests and a consultation.  I really love my new doctor and feel so much better than I have in months.  I feel so much better than I have in at least the last 6 months and the only thing that has changed is that I am no longer employed at my previous company.  Two days after being laid off I slept through the night and awoke feeling refreshed for the first time.   I can’t think that isn’t a coincidence.

I have caught up on my Unitarian Universalist podcasts and have had my heart filled by my family and friends. I have written and knitted and found renewed strength.   I spent the week with my niece and am once again amazed how she and her mom always seem to be around when they are needed most.  How at some of the hardest times in my life that little girl has pushed those fears away with her laughter and unbiased bottomless love and healed my heart.  I have received heartfelt much appreicated emails and notes from friends, some of whom I have never met in person and feel fortified by each and every one.

So the hunt is officially on and we are tracking that crafty fox.  In my spare time (because I have been having a normal work day, on the computer by 6:30 to look for jobs, an hour for lunch and done for the day at 5) I have spun the rest of my yellow merino.

Yellow Merino Handspun

I spun this looser and thicker than I normally would then plied it tight.  I really love the smooshiness of the end result.  I still have to work on spinning a bit thicker, I feel really out of control with it.

Yellow Merino Detail

The Mr also finished spinning some yarn.

The Mr's handspun "Zoo Blend"

This was 4 oz of Ranch Of The Oaks “Zoo Blend” which means it had quite a few different animals in there.  Llama, alpaca, Icelandic wool & I think maybe some curly the angora goat.  Either way it’s totally delish and so damn soft.  I think it needs to be some mittens, this yarn should be close to the skin and I think also that it will be super duper warm.

I also finished one Froot Loop sock. I always loved the pattern since I first saw it on Knitty but the pattern looked complicated and though I love cabled socks I rarely knit them because I can’t stand the thought of a cable needle on socks.  This one should have had a exclimation at the top proclaiming “No Cabling Required!”

Froot Loop Sock

 We are also dog sitting again which actually works out well since I’m off work.  I only wish I would have had the MIL set up a grooming appointment for the dog so I could have taken him while they were gone. 

Next weekend we are joining the parents up at June Lake next to Yosemite National Park. I can’t tell you how excited I am.  They rented a two bedroom cabin and I heard tell there is fishing equipment involved!  I know absolutely nothing about fishing other than 1. I love it & 2. I will catch a larger fish than you.  That’s the proven method and it usually does drive people nuts as I cast willy nilly and sometimes with out even bait   What it will allow is some great pictures, some excellent father son time for the Mr & his dad and lots of smiles. I really can’t wait.

Bob says Howdy, he is helping me apply for jobs & is polishing up his typing skills in the process.

Speaking of books? I picked up and finished Monster Hunter International by Larry Correia this weekend.  My dad had sent this book to the Mr for his birthday this last August and though the Mr has read it roughly four (maybe five?) times already I had never really thought about it. The Mr reads the same book about five times each before it hits the shelf. Every flat surface in our house has at least one book on it as he usually reads five at a time (don’t ask me how either cause I can’t even read with the TV on).

So yeah, honestly people? This book freaking rules. I usually don’t review books and honestly don’t always recommend books cause if I recommend Terry Prachett I usually get back “OMG Have you read The Secret” and my brain instantly turns to mush so this is a big deal.  I think the whole thing is brilliant and pretty damn funny, probably one of the reasons that I like it so much is the main character could probably be the Mr’s twin (except for the gun & violence thing). So yeah, I heard that they are doing a second printing of this the summer of 2009 I would definitely recommend you going and ordering a copy.

So yes, in other news? I am baking bread. I may have found my new addiction for the year of 2009. As knitting was my (and lets face it, IS) current addiction of 2008 I’m adding another skill to my giant bag o tricks. 5 minute artisan bread is awesome. My dad bought me this book for my birthday and this is honestly the first time I have tried baking bread out if it (yeah I know, I’m lame). It was seriously easy and the result is fucking awesome. So I want to know, if there are really only 4 ingredients in basic white bread, how come there are 20 listed on the bag you buy from the store? Something to think about.

I made bread & it was fucking tastey

In other news I still think this year is going to rock, I just have the all around feeling that this is the year that is going to make up for the last two.  My SIL is finally getting some sort of divine intervention with her condo of doom and will soon be free from the continuing advance of the army of black mould, and honestly, if that’s the only good thing that happens this year, well I say “Fuck Yeah” for it.

I think it’s funny how much brother and sister look alike in this photo, they are even wearing the same outfit!

Soon, very soon, Allison and Miss Mi are headed back to Mesa. After 6+ months of fighting insurance companies and their HOA their condo is finally leak free, mould free, and waiting (for them to sell that is).  We all have been very blessed and very spoiled having both these lovely ladies around for so long. I have really enjoyed getting to know my niece so well and coming home to a screetch of “BAA BAAAAAHHHH!!! HI! HI! HI! HIIIIII!!!!” made even my most trying days instantly forgetable because here was this tiny person who was thrilled that I was home.  Nothing beats it to date.  We are all dreading it, no one talks about the impending leave to much because I’m sure we are all going to face a little loneliness with out them.

So Allison, hurry up & get that condo back on the market & get your butt moved back to Cali.  They call Bakersfield the armpit of the US, well I think Mesa might be it’s butt crack. We need the three of you here!

I have been knitting my fingers off. I finished Childs First Sock’s monday but I can’t figure out what’s wrong with my internet at home. I am also 1/2 way through the pair of Little Childs Sock. God that’s a big sock! Even for my sasquatch feet!

So what do I love? I loved taking pictures of this rusty old International Harvester Truck. I loved the colors & the textures & the lighting.

As usual, no editing because I’m to lazy to bother. The fun for me is trudging through the brush & weeds & lizards to find intresting pictures.

I am also completely in love with this little girl.

Our little Miss Mi.  I could not ask for a more wonderful, beautiful, wicked smart, funny little girl to be my niece.  Obviously my sister in law & brother in law have very good genetics & are deffinately the most awesome parents ever.

I also love this man more than a life time could ever express.

Yes, even when he gives me that face when I’m trying to take a nice picture.

Lately life has been pretty smooth which allows us to start looking back and laugh a little at how hard & stupid it was in the recent past. If you can’t laugh in the face of hardship you are doomed to drown in it.

This may look dark on your monitor but in real life it’s not at all. It’s perfectly balanced on higher quality monitors.

As usual, no editing or photoshop enhancing. I truely believe that if it’s not a good picture to begin with all the editing & fiddling in the world won’t save it.

This little girl is the sun of our lives.  I took more pictures yesterday, but this is just a taste. There may or may not have been bunny ears involved.

Sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying. One fabulous day yesterday was proceeded by one not so lovely day today. Granted I am having a fabulous hair day today but that’s about it. I found out why my dad had called me 6 times yesterday. My 97 year old grandmother has desided she has had enough with the drugs & to go on from now till the end on pain killers. Though she has been preparing our entire family for her eventual passing for the last 12 years it’s quite painful to realize that it’s really happening.  That this soon will be over and I don’t feel I knew nearly enough about her before she lost her memories.

Today I am greatful for the fact that it’s been 1 year since I thought my dad was dieing and he has not only not died, but made a marvelous recovery from mystery illness where he should have either stroked out or had a massive heart attack. Someone was really watching over him, though we still don’t know what the growths are on his adrenial glands.  I am thankful for my father in law’s health who scared us also at the same time last year with words like “minor stroke”.  I am thankful for my mother in law who looks at me with loving mom eyes that want to make me collapse into a puddle of tears. I am thankful for my sister in law who holds me while I sob over almost setting the oven on fire because people are using it for storage. I am thankful for my beautiful niece who seems to live to make us laugh and remember what is important. Most of all I am thankful for my husband who is my heart and soul and accepts me even when people I’ve known forever don’t.

When I married Matt we were poor. And poor with a capital “P”. I had started out at an entry level position in a finance company and Matt was a full time grad student studying ceramics and sculpture. We had no money to our names. We made a grand total of $28,000 our first year of marriage, (before taxes mind you) and that’s living in California too.   Eventually I told him (in the nicest way possible) that he either needed to get his teaching certificate or go to work full time. And bless his heart, he did. 3 months later he was the Opperations Manger for the finance company we worked for, 1 year later he was VP in Charge of Opperations. by the time the company was finally sold and absorbed into a much larger company he was running all daily activities and making the financial decisions.

Now almost 5 years later he has excelled so far and so fast in this industry.  I’m so proud when his dad (who works for the same company) tells me all the compliments, achievements, and industry acknoweldgements he’s received (because being Mr Wonderful, he’s also quite humble).

You always think that those love stories & plays & dramas where the woman is just beside herself  in love is just complete bs. No one ever loves like that you think. But after almost 5 years I’ve come to realize that with the right soul, mind, and spirit you can burn more deeply for a person than you ever thought possible. Burn so deeply that you almost can’t function.  They talk about a 7 year itch, where some people get bored & wander, but if this is a taste of what it’s like to keep rounding the years out with a person you love completely I think I might have an explination for spontaneous human combustion.

Though life is always changing and it’s been one hell of a hard year for us, I feel more loved, more sated, satified, and alive than I have in months. Here comes the sun, and it is glorious.