May

Unemployment, welcome me to your bosom.

Yup, I was totally laid off today. Strangely I’m really not that upset about it. I got a two week severance check & was paid bi weekly today so that’s almost a month of pay & a kiss off.

But it’s OK. Seriously. The Mr took the day off today (hello fate?) because my SIL, BIL and the BABY (can you tell I’m seriously excited that she’s here?) are here, so after I was called into be laid off (in the middle of the day) I called him to come get me cause I needed him. Thankfully, (hello fate x2) he was only 2 minutes away at my MIL’s office getting lunch with them. So he was there in no time.

Amazingly (especially for me) I totally didn’t loose my shit. I didn’t cry, didn’t whimper, and didn’t let fucking them win. I don’t know where I found the strength but you know, I really hated those fuckers. I hate that the VP of operations didn’t have the balls to be in the office when it happened. I hate that he gets paid nearly 200K a year and never comes in the office. (Did you know you can totally google your boss? And if you work for a public company you can totally find out how much his salary is, and how much his BONUSES are? Yup, and if they have a fucked up family life? Well you can know even more.) I hate that his girlfriend is given full rein over the office and can make us all feel like shit for no other reason than she’s a cold hearted bitch. I hated that job. Really hated it.

I always said “I’m going to find something better” “I can do so much better.” well you know what? Life totally made me own up to it. Life was tired of my empty promises and made the decision for me.

Still, I can’t find enough to be upset about it to cry. I don’t have that kind of hurt feelings about it. I’m kind of embarrassed, especially since I didn’t see it coming, especially since they JUST hired a new girl in a department they DID NOT NEED, but I’m ok.

Things that make me ok?
An awesome husband, seriously, I wish everyone could have their own version of the Mr because everyone deserves to be loved like this. Unconditionally, unwaveringly, thru and thru. He was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when I made it down (a surprise because I didn’t know he was there that fast) and ready to save me if I needed it or kick some ass if it needed to be done.

Awesome fucking friends that read my twitter seconds after it happans & ask me if I am OK. Seriously, you fill my heart.

Amazing inlaws. My MIL was so pissed when she found out that I was laid off that she called my FIL a major stock holder in the company I was just laid off from. Did you know that you could be laid off from a company that your FIL owns a major share of? I didn’t either! So I’m leaving the rest of what I want to say unsaid, because it may be public soon enough. This is really where one understands “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”.

I’m also sure that my inlaws would easily kick the anti Christ’s ass if he messed with one of their kids. We don’t only circle the wagons, we shoot grandes at you while doing it.

Also, I’ve almost written a full book. A book where people actually want to read it. Where I finally feel like I may have come across something that lets the secret world inside my head be ok. A book that is impressing people.

I get unemployment (that helps and I almost forgot about it). Thank you Mr again.

I know that I will probably be able to find a job semi soon, even in this market because I can do just about anything and will do just about anything.

So you know what? I’m ok. I’m more than ok. I get to spend a week with my niece who I adore. I get to go to the beach in the middle of the day. I get to clean my fucking house like it’s never been cleaned before and I get to write. This is all one week. My resume will go out on Monday after my FIL (the king of resumes) reviews it and I will continue to be ok.

THIS is Sisu. This is what it means to be Finnish, my people came from the tundra and herded reindeer, with this blood running through my veins it’s kinda hard to get upset about some thing so easily fixed.

1003 days ago Short URL 17 Comments

california/Family/thoughts/Work

May

When It Hits The Fan.

What I’ve been up to in 100 words or less.

Spinning sock yarn seems like it will NEVER end.

I'm going to spin this for some EZ's mitered mittens, I just have to figure out if I'm going to go fat singles or plied.

I need to build a contraption. Maybe this weekend!

TTV

I have been beyond exhuasted which is only a smaller part of just not feeling well.

Sue immatates how spend my at home time recently

Lately it’s been all I can do just to hold my shit together. In an effort to try to regain control I have changed doctors and may have found “the one”. Blood will be drawn, cups have been pee’d in, and ultra sounds are schedualed. My family is amazing. I was totally saved yesterday by my MIL who came to my house yesterday after work with a LIST of refered doctors she had compiled for me. So I lied, it’s not 161 words. Bah.

1005 days ago Short URL 4 Comments

fiber/handspun/knit/Knitting/photography/Picture/Pictures/Spin/spinning/thoughts

Apr

Last week was a difficult week for me and I didn’t really feel like writing. I thank those of you that asked what was up with my last post, but I’m really not going to elaborate because it’s not something I feel comfortable discussing openly in a public forum (which directly translates into “It may or may not be work related”). So thank you for your concern, I’m ok, seriously. I just had my principles tested.

I am a Unitarian Universalist and I try very hard to practice “The inherent Worth and Dignity of Every Person” so even if I don’t like you or don’t agree with you I still think that you should be treated with respect, kindness, and dignity. This was tested pretty rigorously last week reaffirming my belief that if you are not here making the world a better place you have no place in the world.

Enough of that rant. I did what my moral compass compelled me to do and now feel much more rational about the whole thing.

In other news I have UFOs Knitting has been going slowly for some reason. I feel as though my endless pararde of finished knits from last year stalled out somewhere this year. Maybe it’s because I’m more picky about what I knit or maybe it’s because I’m just trying to use the stash. Either way it’s a little bit slower in the final production.

February Baby Sweater

February Baby sweater in cotton fleece for my niece Amelia For some reason I put off knitting this sweater though I can’t remember why. Maybe it was the incredible growth spurts my niece is prone to (you may say this is normal, but man, the girl is TALL) or that every time I think about this knit it’s summer in Arizona where she lives.

Either way, I found out that my BIL, SIL & niece are coming for a visit early next month and I thought that it was a great time to knit it. Not only would the weather be perfect, (warm days but the nights are still cool) but I would be able to get some modeled shots. I made the sleeves 3/4 length so that mom wouldn’t have to roll them up & I made it out of a sturdy but light cotton. So at least it will get one springs worth of wear. I just need to sew the sleeves, wash, block & find a toggle for the front

I also finished my first cornrow sock last week at knitting.

Cornrow sock.

This isn’t a great picture and I don’t really like socks with out feet in them, but I don’t have two socks to model so there you go. (also, I love my moose sock blockers) I decided to continue the pattern down the heel flap because the sturdiness and flatness of the stitch pattern really lendt itself well to it. Hopefully by the end of the week I will have two finished socks and a free pattern for ya all.

I probably didn’t mention but two weekends past the Mr and I snagged some fish out of my MIL’s pond for our own pond. How many grown adults does it take to herd gold fish into a net? At least 3, and only if one is on her knees with her arm in the water up to her elbow.

Not sated with the 5 beautiful fish we managed to snag from them the Mr wanted a Koi. So we stopped by petco and picked up a just delivered bag of koi. Two butterfly koi which I am really totally in love with.

Koi for our pond

One is a fantastic mind blowing yellow and the other a lighter orange/gold than the comets we have in the pond already. Everyone seems to have settled in quite well and Mr Mellow Yellow there is apparently king of the fish as they all follow him around and won’t make a move with out him which I find funny.

We also had a small skirmish at the house this weekend. All was peaceful as it should be till the great Bob-zilla, unhappy with his complete rule over the lands of Floor, Couch, and Bed decided to attack the good hearted lego people of Dining Room Table.

It was a brutal battle, every man that could carry a weapon turned out to defend the walls. There were indeed times when it looked quite grim as the beast seemed impervious to arrows and spears.

A sneak attack from the back of the castle was tried gaining the great Bob-zilla access to the castles rear courtyard, but trusty knights were quick to flock to the dangers.

In the end a truce was proposed by the King of all Legomen & Dining Room Table.

The truce was accepted by Bob-zilla because after all, it was close to naptime.

1013 days ago Short URL 9 Comments

Cat/Craft/Family/knit/Knitting/photography/Picture/Pictures/thoughts/Unitarian Universalism

Apr

Anniversary of a Different Sort

(Quick FYI to the blog contest winners, your packages went out yesterday but I forgot to take a picture of them so you will now be completely surprised).

As the title says, today is an anniversary of a different sort for me. Today is officially two weeks since I had my last cigarette. Yup, I quit smoking. I didn’t really intend to, (though I knew full well I should have done this years ago) I actually just got really sick and couldn’t even cope with the idea of further hurting my barely gasping lungs. So I went one day with out, then two, then three, and as I got better I wanted to smoke again, but I resisted. And then it was a week and now two.

I won’t lie. I miss it, I crave it and if it wasn’t so harmful I would still be doing it. But I’m not, my will power is stronger than the want. I wonder if it will ever go away, if I will ever not want to smoke?

The Mr is now on the band wagon. We have been a completely smoke free zone for a couple of days and I will admit they have been a rough couple of days. Where I was lucky enough to ride out my nicotine fits in a drug induced stupor he was not. There were a few times things became more irritating than they should have been.

Then yesterday we found out that we owe big time on our taxes. We owe 4x as much as we’ve ever owed. And yes, we have double checked (multiple times). It seems that claiming “0″ means squat, that even though they take the most allowable out of my paycheck each week it’s still not enough, which I don’t quite fully understand.

So maybe this year we will be buying some 100% tax deductible alpacas and boarding them up at Mette’s ranch. (I joke, maybe).

It’s a little painful to watch those that pay less in taxes than us get more back, but there’s really nothing to be done. I guess the only ones that we can blame are ourselves, if we didn’t make the amounts we do none of this would happen. So I’m sure there are better things to complain about, but this one has really pushed a button.

1027 days ago Short URL 12 Comments

california/thoughts

Mar

Meandering

I’ve been relatively quite the last few weeks, well, Internet wise at least as I think it’s quite impossible for me to be physically quiet (much to the dismay of the Mr). Though I have been wandering the outskirts of my usual Internet haunts I haven’t had the energy to really jump in like I normally do, meaning I have been a poor commenter on the blogs that I love and haven’t taken a single none knitting related photo in weeks.

That is all about to change though. I’ve felt the subtle frustration welling up once again which means only that I really need to get out and create or capture. Knitting doesn’t quell this part of my personality in the least. Usually in the past the only way I could feel calm and normal again was to draw or paint (bet a bunch of you didn’t know I could do that. Well I can, I don’t paint well, but I can draw pretty damn awesomely. Yes, I said awesomely).

Thankfully, I have an 85mm Canon Lens zooming toward me in the back of a UPS truck. The delivery date is Friday which means that I will be able to play all weekend.

A week from tomorrow I will be taking this lens (along with many others) my knitting and myself (because honesty, I don’t know if there are any other important things) to Minnesota for a long weekend. I will be visiting my long frozen family in the far north and trying (in vain I’m sure) not to let them see how California has thinned my blood and wussified my Scandinavian heart.

I have lived in California all together for 5 long years. I still always clarify though that I’m from Minnesota because a huge part of me doesn’t want to assimilate to this state, this culture and this mindset. If you are from here I doubt that you would ever understand, but like most people who move to this long state on the ocean I will never understand fully what drives the people here.

As I pull my things together for the trip and start listing off the things I want to do I am hit with a sudden heart ache for my long lost home. I don’t miss the winter, (but I do miss season change in general), I do miss the cities with their random one way streets and skyways. So I will be dragging my dad all over the twin cities at a break neck pace visiting yarn shops and snapping pictures until I am too tired or too frozen to continue. So for now I leave you with a little funny and a little inspiration.

: Herman needs a hand.

My weekly favorites from Flickr seem to show a tendency toward green (like that’s a surprise) orange and blue.

1054 days ago Short URL 2 Comments

Craft/knit/Knitting/Memories/photography/Picture/Pictures/thoughts

Jan

Filler: It’s a good thing!

I seem to have a terrible case of starteritus. I have roughly 6 projects on needles right now all about 1/2 done. Hopefully I will be able to make some kind of push this week or this weekend and get at least one done. If you are wondering at my lack of any FO’s (which is totally not in my nature) I can give a small glimpse of what I have been spending my free time on.

I still feel a little bit silly about this writing process when I think about it, or have to tell people about it, but it’s getting better. I’m really enjoying myself and I got a great response out of the Mr last night for some of my new pages. I have found that one character I really liked in the beginning is actually getting on my last nerve and the opposition of my main characters actually make me a little queasy because after I re-read what I wrote I realize how creepy & fantastically evil they are. Sometimes I don’t know how this all is coming out of my own brain, but it is, and as surprising as that may be it’s also quite energizing.

So though I may not be very entertaining now I do have some projects to show off soon. Projects with cables, cables & …. more cables.

1111 days ago Short URL 6 Comments

knit/Knitting/Picture/short story/The Story Of Mildred/thoughts/Writing

Dec

A Look Back

2008 is almost done, and there are a billion knitting blogs looking back on what they have accomplished this year. I have accomplished a bit more than just knitting. I moved (once again) into a new house in June, making this the 6th time the Mr and I have changed our address since we have been married. The Mr and I also celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Something that just kind of creeps up on you, BAM 5 years. We will officially have been an item 6 years in February (which shows you we don’t mess around with that silly dating in this family!).

I spent some of the best (and most emotional) months of my life in a communal living situation with my mother in law, father in law, sister in law, niece, and husband in one house when life forced us all to re-evaluate what is really important.

I came to a more peaceful acceptence of my metobolic disorder (though it’s a wound that will never heal). And have finally accepted some real sort of treatment for it rather than just ignoring it. I have also come to the conclusion that I need to change some things to improve my health and physical well being.

I have also recently come to the conclusion that my true path is somewhere diffrent than the one I have following. Now I am working on being able to pursue that which is best for me, my family our lives. (I can’t go too much more into that because my CFO thinks it’s appropriate to read my blog and this is pretty personal).

It’s nice sometimes to look back at the year and realize you’ve been extremely productive.

Part one, I've been very productive this year

Part two, still, pretty damn productive.

All projects are Raveled here (I didn’t want to bog you down with a huge list!)

The count is;
17 Hats
11 Socks
9 Sweaters
11 Scarves/ Cowls
4 Mittens (both fingerless & not)
2 Dog sweaters (not shown)
1 Bag
1 Toy
——-
56 Total Projects for the year FINISHED!

That’s a little over 1 project finished per week. I even amaze myself sometimes. Now for the required New Years Resolutions that I actually intend to stick to this year.
1. Continue writing and see where it goes
2. Declutter my life. Time to really pare down the unnessary things
3. Be more physicall active
4. Cut back on the caffine intake
5. Take a photoshop class
6. Knit down my stash of yarn
7. Create 1 mitten or hat or sweater pattern
8. Research alternative career paths
9. Be more kind in general and to everyone more of the time
10. Believe my Mr when he tells me I have enough passion & drive to be sucessful at anything I want/ stop putting myself down.

Happy New Year to you all! I wish you a happy & prosperous one!

1132 days ago Short URL 9 Comments

knit/Knitting/Memories/thoughts

Dec

A Case Of The Mondays.

Monday, again. This weekend was quite fab, we had the local FINISH IT party at my yarn shop & I got the chance to chat excessively (which is the only kind of chatting I can do) with some people I didn’t know as well. I got quite a bit of work done on the second sleeve of the Copy Cat sweater. This sweater is for my awesomely wonderful cousin, it’s a copy of her fav (though falling apart) Gap sweater.

The most basic & most needed kind of sweater EVER!

In other news I have connected the sleeves of my FIL’s Christmas sweater to the body & am steadily decreasing away at the yoke. Soon (hopefully by Friday) I’ll be done.

Lastly in knitting news I’m test knitting a pair of Elinor’s Mittens which I’m seriously excited about.

In non-knitting news I’m a bit frustrated in my professional life. Frustrated because of how people innately treat each other, how only criticism and negativity are given and how no one can ever let you think that you maybe are doing something right or well (because that might give you a big head ya know). I get “Remember Preita _____” a lot, which directly translates into “Remember Preita, I think your a dumb ass and even though I’ve never told you about this or can’t properly explain myself I’m going to make you feel bad about it”. It can be hurtful, but I realize I’ve started doing the same thing that everyone else here does anyways, pull back into my shell, never take a chance on anything, ask stupid questions because it’s expected of us, and just do as I’m told. No one talks to loudly because undoubtedly someone will tell you your wrong, and if you are truly unlucky you will actually be followed around the office while your mistake is being broad casted to everyone with ears. (Thankfully this last part has never happened to me as I’m sure I would turn pretty nasty on this behavior).

I guess it’s just tiring because no one seems to be able to communicate what they really want or need. One of the problems is the inter-usage of terms that I don’t see as interchangeable. So thus I don’t “get it”. Then there is the continual wishy washy decision making which leaves you with no real decision made and in trouble if you follow their directions, but also in trouble if you don’t.

Some days are better than others, some days are worse. Sometimes I don’t know how I ever suceeded so well at helping running a business similar to this, and now that I am not even in charge of anything I can’t seem to do anything right. I now have to triple check all my work to only get one “Remember Preita____”.

It’s just frustrating but honestly, bearable. You just can’t take anything personally, can’t be too friendly with anyone else here, and do just as your told. It could be a hell of a lot worse that’s for sure, and sometimes a venting of frustrations are needed. I am thankful to be employed though, and I have to at the end of the day remember that.

Poor moral is more contagious than a cold.

"There are better things out there than this"

1154 days ago Short URL 2 Comments

Craft/knit/Knitting/Picture/Pictures/thoughts/Work

Nov

It’s Almost OVER!

This is becoming a nightly occurrence at che Slayer.

the darker belongs to the Mr, the lighter to me

These still need to be washed & twacked & dried. I still need to work on getting it all even. Though, when the Mr doesn’t get it even it looks fabulous. Fair? I think not.

Today is the day where we all have the obligation to get our asses off the couch and vote. I hope you all do. I hope also that I stop receiving childish, cultish pro____ emails. Seriously you think your actually making a point with such foolery? I do have to say that some of the more “OMG GO OBAMA” supporters have scared me with their undieing devoting to a man they do not know. I’m not saying he wouldn’t make a just fine president, but I think everyone needs to take a deep breath & take their Ritalin.

I might get flamed for this, but you know, I really don’t care who wins. I really don’t. See, the Mr and I will still pay a butt load in taxes with out seeing a dime of it back, and we will still have to work our asses off for it too. I see anger management problems in McCain, but also? Biden? Could he have been anymore creepy angry last night? I expected the masses to click their heels with a and hail in not so flattering way.

In an ideal world I would like to smash these two parties, candidates and VP’s together and vote for that. Sometimes I wonder “Isn’t there a better choice?” And no, it was not Hilary.

I would also like to stop seeing the closed mindedness of certain political posts I’ve read. Maybe it’s because I’m a Unitarian and it’s basically my religion to question everything and anything all the time, but just because someone leans away from Obama (and though I believe he will be our next president (and a fine one) I find him egotistic, cocky, and condescending) does not make them stupid, close minded, back woods, or intolerant. It makes them a person of a differing opinion. Isn’t this country great that we are allowed that?

Whom ever wins has a terrible job ahead of them and I don’t envy them a bit.

Sometimes difficult questions are left with no answers, but you can’t bitch if you don’t vote.

(Remember also that this is my blog and I would never treat anyone with disrespect. I expect the same human decency. All intolerant comments will be published along with your email & name in the following blog post for the world to see your jerkiness. This is your only warning.)

1188 days ago Short URL 1 Comment

thoughts

Mar

Happy Love Thursday

Taking a cue from Cassie this week & celebrating Love Thursday. My life is so incredibly filled with uncompromising and unconditional love these days that it seems to bubble over into everything. I truely have the best family in the world. My inlaws, yeah, well, I honestly don’t think that you could have asked for better people to be your family. I am truely blessed.

So what do I love? I loved taking pictures of this rusty old International Harvester Truck. I loved the colors & the textures & the lighting.

As usual, no editing because I’m to lazy to bother. The fun for me is trudging through the brush & weeds & lizards to find intresting pictures.

I am also completely in love with this little girl.

Our little Miss Mi. I could not ask for a more wonderful, beautiful, wicked smart, funny little girl to be my niece. Obviously my sister in law & brother in law have very good genetics & are deffinately the most awesome parents ever.

I also love this man more than a life time could ever express.

Yes, even when he gives me that face when I’m trying to take a nice picture.

Lately life has been pretty smooth which allows us to start looking back and laugh a little at how hard & stupid it was in the recent past. If you can’t laugh in the face of hardship you are doomed to drown in it.

1417 days ago Short URL 4 Comments

california/Family/love/photography/Picture/Pictures/thoughts

Mr Poopers Day Out

Filed under thoughts …